Dear readers, I’ve been in a Funk.
Ever since January, actually. Since the beginning of the semester, a cloud has hung over my head. I hate that cloud. Fuck the cloud! If I could, I would rip it from above and stomp on it. It’s hurt my writing, my opportunity for friendships, my health, and my self-esteem. Sometimes I feel like a dried-up piece of fruit. Preferably an apricot or a fig—they’re kind of tasty, don’t you think?
Anyway, here are some signs of The Funk:
Your sleep schedule sucks
Seriously, it is, like, the worst. You go to bed at 4am, but have to go to work at 9am, so you take a nap at 4pm before pilates at 6pm, but then you skip pilates because you’re exhausted. And you wake up at 7pm to do work but can’t fall back asleep, so fuck it—you go to sleep at 8am. And it’s all totally messed up.
This is basically me. When I was in high school, my mother forbid naps. Now that I’m in college, I take naps all the time. And it’s bad!!! Very bad! Some people can do the 20 minute snooze, but not this chick. Nope.
You eat poorly
Food is either a tyrant or a small obligation. You eat a lot because you’re bored/upset, or you don’t eat at all because it doesn’t matter anymore. The responsibilities and the pain is still going to be there. And it’s not just quantity—it’s quality too. Crappy food can give you temporary satisfaction, but your energy level will be nonexistent. Believe me, I know. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a salad.
There’s no motivation—even for things you (used to) love
“Nope. Nope. Nope. Not doing it today.” That’s the only reaction you have to pretty much everything. Even the things you love. Or used to love. Now all you love is food and money and sleep. Maybe alcohol and sex. Mostly food and sleep. And when you try to do the things you’re passionate about, you can’t. You are detached. Sometimes I try to write poetry, and nothing happens. Maybe it’s because poetry is supposed to be organic, but I really believe that I am being drained when I try.
You don’t exercise
Some people are naturally averse to any physical activity whatsoever, but usually when you don’t get any exercise, it is because of The Funk. Sedentary people are always at risk for depression—exercise releases endorphins and those make you happy. There are so many benefits from exercise; it’s important to incorporate just a simple activity such as walking, going up a few flights of stairs, or doing yoga.
I could go on and on about depression and suicidal thoughts and decreased libido, but if you’re old enough to understand all this, you’ve probably heard it all before. I don’t want to sound like a Zoloft commercial. What you need to do is:
- Eat more fruit and veggies. Drink more water. Energy is bae.
- Get on a good sleeping schedule. Try to do something relaxing, like reading or doing a word puzzle.
- Hit that gym (or the sidewalk, if you exercise outside). Even if it’s for a little bit, just being out with other people and nature is super helpful.
- Engage in a little self-love. Better yet, find a partner and get it on ;) Orgasms=happiness
- Talk to yo’ doctor. They will find the best solution for you.
Be happy, be strong, and try to get out of the funk!
I pretty much hated the new Cinderella. Why is it full of one-dimensional characters? And I really wish the prince was black, I would have loved that.
Originally posted on TIME:
Ever since the cast was announced, I’ve been wishing hard on Disney’s new live-action adaptation of Cinderella. This was, after all, a product of the new Disney, whose last princess-based effort resulted in the girl-power juggernaut we know and love as Frozen. And now Cate Blanchett, Helen Bonham Carter, and even Agent Carter’s “butt-kicking bombshell” Hayley Atwell were on board. Surely this band of power women would have only signed on to a more modern Cinderella, one that finds a way luxuriate in the lush beauty of the tale while also giving it a much-needed jolt of female agency?
How I wish I didn’t have to deliver bad news. I was a bullied girl who grew up on Disney’s classic animated version, dreaming that a fairy godmother might also reveal me as the radiant woman I knew I could be. I fervently wanted this reboot…
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Don’t you feel like God doesn’t love you anymore?
You weighted time
to love–even more to know
Eve is proud
But there, a cloud over your head!
Raining blood so red it’s white in mist
The boy with the salt-and-pepper hair does not want to dig into my soul
and sleep in its hollows, like
the rose on the little prince’s asteroid.
Instead he asks naught
but what I think of what he said—
tells me only nonreligion binds us—
And I want to cry because
as I try
to move amongst his soul
he nibbles on my skin
Note: Originally written October 28th, 2014 Edited February 20th, 2015
Rating: R (drugs, sex, and cursing, oh my!)
Summary: A 2011 British romantic drama film directed by Andrew Haigh. The film stars Tom Cullen and Chris New as two men who meet and begin a sexual relationship the week before one of them plans to leave the country.
- Wow, the main character doesn’t look or act gay… Definitely played by a straight man.
- He’s so shy. Do his friends and family know he’s gay?
- Who makes the first move in a gay nightclub? The more dominant one? The taller one?
- Russell is taking coffee to his ONS…
- Wow, they are super cute together.
- When Russell says he doesn’t like anal sex, I think he’s lying to himself.
- Oooh, does admitting you like anal sex make you “too gay” in Russell’s eyes? Maybe bc penetration is animalistic and final.
- People yell ‘queer’ at gay people’s windows? God, it’s 2011 when this was made. Get a grip.
- If people knew Russell was gay, would they still let him lifeguard? I’m not sure… In America… not sure either.
- Ooohh, Russ is texting Glen… Definitely wants the D.
- [In the locker room, when these guys are getting descriptive about having sex with a woman] How isolating that must be. You have to hear about something you can’t relate to at all. If I was in his situation, I would feel ashamed at being different and uncomfortable.
- It’s like they don’t know how to act around each other now that they’ve met again. And it’s so odd because I’m used to thinking of it as a male-female thing.
- They are at Russ’s place. Russ is making tea. Glen takes off his jacket, casually feeling out Russ to see if he wants to have sex. Glen is assertive. I like this.
- “You think talking about sex is dirty?” says Glen. Very interesting question. I like Glen a lot now, because I see him as very sexually progressive. He also makes a valid point when he says, “Gay people never talk about [their sex life] in public. I think it’s because they’re ashamed.”
- You definitely figure out who you want to be through sex.
- The sex scene: I was definitely aroused. Is this weird? I feel guilty or ashamed. But at the same time, I loved how happy they were when they had sex/made love.
- I wonder if I find it sexy because they both fit the masculine stereotype? I don’t know if I’d be as aroused if their voices were higher or their jawline more pronounced.
- Russ doesn’t look happy after sex. He cleans off the semen, which is a gentle rejection of Glen. And when they kiss, it’s clear Glen wants more.
- The news: very sad. Glen tries to stifle his passion.
- The word “faggot” is a source of pride for Glen, but a source of shame for Russ.
- They can’t kiss in a bar. That’s so sad.
- NOOO!! Don’t do coke! Coke is bad for you!
- I totally understand what Russ is saying about marriage. It’s so wonderful to say that you love someone despite what others think. And to decide to spend the rest of your life together…
- No, Glen! Don’t break Russell’s heart!!
- Wow, to let Glen be top is a really big step for Russ–it means trust.
- At first, I thought Glen wanted a relationship. Now Russ wants one.
- Russ feels so awkward at his goddaughter’s party.
- I don’t want Russ to try to persuade Glen to leave. I want Glen to admit he doesn’t want to go to America because he loves Russ.
- Aw. They don’t get together. But I think that’s the most realistic ending. Not everyone can be i n a relationship. It’s great that Glen wants to finally pursue his dream. And maybe they’ll get together eventually, who knows?
in the room there is a man and inside
this man is a pot of anger and inside
Pot of Anger is his sister’s boyfriend
and her child.
Within her is sadness
for the left arm she lost
when the elevator came down
to catch her but clenched it
instead. Now she raises
remainder [of that elevator]
and her good arm
against his hot hands
but nothing happens—her limb/s