No One is Born Gay (or Straight): Here Are 5 Reasons Why

What are your thoughts?

Social (In)Queery

This post has been elaborated here.

1.  Just because an argument is politically strategic, does not make it true:  A couple of years ago, the Human Rights Campaign, arguably the country’s most powerful lesbian and gay organization, responded to politician Herman Cain’s assertion that being gay is a choice.  They asked their members to “Tell Herman Cain to get with the times! Being gay is not a choice!”  They reasoned that Cain’s remarks were “dangerous.”  Why?  “Because implying that homosexuality is a choice gives unwarranted credence to roundly disproven practices such as ‘conversion’ or ‘reparative’ therapy. The risks associated with attempts to consciously change one’s sexual orientation include depression, anxiety and self-destructive behavior.”

Image Cynthia Nixon (right) and wife Christine Marinoni (left)

The problem with such statements is that they infuse biological accounts with an obligatory and nearly coercive force, suggesting that anyone who describes homosexual desire…

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3 thoughts on “No One is Born Gay (or Straight): Here Are 5 Reasons Why”

  1. I found this article disturbing. It’s been 2 yrs since I told my 22 yr old who had never dated, never been kissed, that I sincerely hoped one day she would experience heart-fluttering love. she called within 6 months and shared that she “got it” and understood what I meant, and then described her new girlfriend. I would be lying to say that I knew she was gay, but when I look back through childhood photos, it was there. It’s who she is. The author claims, “It’s a choice?” Heterosexuals who are not understanding also have a choice of getting their minds out of others’ bedrooms. Let them make the right choice.

  2. The article resonates to some extent. I do not have any sexual orientation. I have experienced sexual drives and have done sexual actions, but have not experienced the ‘sexual orientation’ pack as an enrichment in life. To just be a human being with drives is enough for me and give me the freedom to choose what to do with them when they are present (seldom as it is) without being influenced by a powerful psychological identity.

    Because psychological identities can be very powerful, and had it not been for the very present activism and conflict of interest behind it, my visit into the homosexual orientation as a teenager may have been much longer. I later got trapped inside an autistic identity that controlled my life for quite some time, until the activism and conflict of interest behind it become so present that I left it with the result of recovering from all the symptoms of it (as notarized by professionals). The experience with the psychological identity of autism showed me how powerful psychological identities may be, as the identity of autism created autism in me. It further made me feel part of a social group (with a strong belief in autism as something inherent), it made a sense of freedom in that I could use the identity as an excuse for bypassing social rules, and it made a feeling of happiness in me as I felt I had discovered myself. It was not a negative experience as such to have it, but the experience I got when I left it was something much better than anything I had experienced with the identity.

    In the same way is it great to not have a sexual orientation. The social force of getting one in my teenage that made me try different orientations was not a negative experience as such, but the freedom from it has been so much more positive. And it has made me experience deep non-sexual friendships to the extent that I have not felt any need for sexual actions for many years.

    So I think it is in order, as the article author do, to approach psychological identities critical, as they may have a huge influence of life.

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